So currently, I'm half-procrastinating, half-waiting for my two people to come online so we can begin our GPP and hopefully aim for a bed-time before 1 o clock (which would be virtually impossible). Great, whacky fun stuff us lucky JC kids can do nowadays, I really thank my lucky stars that I'm fortunate enough to take PW, it's the best subject anyone can ever ask for.

I just came back from the band concert, and I had no idea what was going on half the time because y'know, I'm chill like that and all sorts of awesomeness and fun. But yeah, it was whacky fun stuff, especially the last two/three songs because ZOMG, THERE WAS CLAPPING (which I was trying very hard not to clap out of rhythm for, which reminds me of Secondary school where I'd intentionally clap out of beat just to piss Xin off or something, heehee).

And I was just like WOAH because I wish I was musically inclined, and I was in Band or some Performing Arts/Music CCA because it's just so wow. Like, playing something like that and trusting the others to play their own bits and having everything come together and sound so impressive and together. You know? It's just so amazing. Haha, I mean, I know this sort of happens in Drama as well, like, idk, but woah. Watching it is kind of woah.

I think it's just the music n00b in me saying this. It's probably second nature to them, like WOAHHH DOOOOD WHUT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT MANNNN~~~!

(I was fangasming over how the band people were wearing suit-like-things/blazers. Because it's so Mafia, but haha, that's just me. I really want a blazer.)

Then the sky (ah, the Sky messing things up once again hahai'mbeingsuchabitchbutthisisaninsidejokewithmyselflolz) opened up on us. Haha, that made it sound cooler than it actually was, it was more of like, it was drizzling. Yeah, but I'm trying to act Lit-- failing, but ah well, life sucks and then you die. (Live fast, die young.) And we walked in the rain all the way to City Hall MRT.

It was fun. Yet it wasn't. It wasn't as open as I thought it would be. Haha, I mean, walking in the rain is usually this super exciting thing for me and I'd be like OH YES BBY LET'S WALK IN THE RAIN OMG I AM SO HAPPY ABOUT THIS RIGHT NOW OMG and idk be gay and shit, but it wasn't like that. Haha, I was like Oh, rain. Yeah, whoooo, I love walking in the rain... Yeah.

I guess I've just been moody for the past few days... Week? I don't know. But I just don't feel very not-empty. Maybe it's just like the because of CAP. But I don't think so, I've been feeling like that for a while. The Secondary 2 effect in which I'm just this little blackhole of angst and blah, and then it's like OH YES LET'S BE HIGH FOR A WHILE BECAUSE WELL, YEAH, I CAN'T BE EMO FOREVER, then I go back to being sad and angsty.

Which is tiring. (TO THE EXTREME, ilyryoheiheehee) I don't know. It's just frustrating because even I don't know why I feel so empty, like there's something wrong somewhere, some short-circuit. I guess. I just am. I guess that it's just beginning to get to me that I'm not really doing much with my life right now, I mean. There's no proper thing to define myself by besides psychopatic-socially awkward-not tall-retarded-=.='', that. And I just... I just wish I've accomplished something important so far this year, which I haven't because I've failed spectacularly in everything that matters/counts/would make a difference or whatever (and it's not even about cap anymore).

Haha.

Yeah, I need to start acting like a J1. Oops, sorry Year 5 student, and stop acting like a Secondary 2 student. Plus, this is going on my blog so I suppose right now, I've just switched places with Xin for the EMO EMO ANGST blog.

Meh, whatever.